The majority of people on my friends list.  I met them through word of mouth; Blogathon '07; and Writer's Block!

Send me to one of Saturn's moons: for this Cappy it would be great. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, of course! After all, I don't want to panic!

When the morons in my ex-boyfriend's community college thought Video Music Box was coming down there. Xeroxes of a handwritten signs stating, "The Box LIVE 4pm in the gym" were posted all over the school. I said, "I don't think that's Video Music Box." He told me, "you listen to white music; what do you know about Video Music Box?" I said, "Well I know they ain't coming here! VMB would have used a logo, duh!" He grumbled, "Sister, you don't know what you're talking about!"

Of course, the mean side of me had to see this go down...

3 P.M.: I made sure that I got ringside seats for this one. Already, 200 kids showed up.

3:30 P.M.: "Hey Bilal... where the video cameras; where the lights?" With an icy glare, he responded, "They must be running late." "Aah... they're running on colored people time. Well, they're gonna be really late because they ain't coming" Dummy ex gives the :eyeroll:

4 P.M.: The gym was filled with almost 400 black students eagerly awaiting Video Music Box.

4:15 P.M.: Two white boys are setting up sound equipment. "So I guess, the Box is an EOE Bilal?" :eyeroll: from dummy. Meanwhile, a hundred more kids filtered in.

4:45 P.M. A petite white chick saunters up to the stage. Thanks everyone for being there and starts singing her song.

Imagine 500 hoodies with a dumbfounded look on their faces...
Priceless!

Mouths agape. They were so shocked they couldn't even cuss. I started laughing so hard and so loudly, I nearly pee'd myself!

After the first song, everyone walked out.

EX started to walk out too... "Oh no, no, no! You came here to see the Box. You gonna stay here and finish watching The Box. After all you know so much about hip-hop!" I taunted him further by speaking to "The Box" after their performance. This happened over a decade ago and I still LMAO thinking about it. If it's one thing I know it's old school hip-hop.

Enjoy the original theme song for Video Music Box (Whodini: Five Minutes of Funk):

P.S. Whodini also did "Freaks Come Out Night" Rest in peace Channel 31! You were the best channel around.

My freshman year of college I had shoulder-length hair. However, I was sick of hair at the moment.

I kept telling my friend Bedpost I couldn't stand it anymore. She just thought I was talking smack.

So she came over to visit my room. I told her this was it.

This is what?,she asked.

I want it off.

So went to the bathroom and she was shaking.

Why are you shaking it's my hair.

O.K.

She cut off a hand full and I told her I changed my mind.

"What?!" Bedpost screamed.

"Just kidding!"

"You're crazy as hell!"

We were cracking up. Someone walked in and got the RA.

The RA ran in there and proceeded to pepper me with questions about feeling suicidal.

"Aw jeez. I just want to shave my head that's it!" I said.

So my good buddy Bedpost shaved my head completely bald.

I felt so much better.

Unfortunately, my mom came to visit the next morning. She just walked in and pulled back the covers.

To this day I can still hear her scream. Poor lady nearly had a heart attack.

"I guess you'll knock on the door next time ma."

More recently, this thug on the bus told me I had very sexy eyebrows. I know they're smokin' but wow!

Um thanks?!

Since I've been crying, retching and kvetching I thought I'd provide some comic relief. Unfortunately, these tales are all true!

For some reason, men find me more attractive when I am completely unavailable and/or feel like a hot mess!

I have several ones:

For instance, in college and I cut off my shoulder-length hair. My friend Bedpost shaved it completely bald. Suddenly, men were clamoring to touch my head and telling me that I looked super sexy. Let me tell you, random strangers touching your scalp is a very strange feeling!


Hot Preggers~~~
My pals Bedpost and Christa threw me a baby shower when I was living in Brooklyn. We were walking to the supermarket to get supplies when these dudes in an IROC-Z rolled down the window and shouted, "Hey! Sexy Mama... Wooo Hooo!" They were catcalling me for half a block. Of course, we were shocked for a few seconds but then we just started laughing.

Alrighty then!

I thought that was weird. That was just the beginning. A couple of weeks later something even stranger happend...

I was eight months pregnant with my son. I was cranky, huge, and sweaty in the July heat.

This man came up to me and said, "I hope you don't think I'm being fresh or nothing but I had to let you know that you got some very sexy feet. Can I talk to you?" I told him that I was married. He was not deterred! "What's your man got to do with me?" I responded, "Well, why is my size 10 shoe itching to fly up your ass?"

I thought I heard some strange come ones but this one by far is the weirdest and it didn't happen to me!

My friend Kirk is a nice guy. This girl told him, "You got eyes like a bitch."

WTF?!

Surf, ski, snowboard. Heck, any extreme sport! I'm a Capricorn and we're known for playing it safe...although I think I tend to buck that image. Unfortunately, I haven't gotten out much in a while :-(

I definitely want to go to Girls Who Surf school in Hawaii or Surf Like A Girl if I'm out in Cali!

I grew up near the ocean but surfing is NOT allowed in Coney Island so I had to be content with my boogie board and a mom who's terrified of water.

As for skiing/snowboarding, I just never had the opportunity.

Now that I think about it, I want to step up my skateboarding and in-line skating as well.

I'm so pedestrian!!!

Bleach...it just screams clean! The smell reminds me of my mother- Felix Ungar's fairy godmother!

Pet Shop Boys!

When I first heard "West End Girls" something changed in me. It was the first song I ever heard that truly spoke to me. I was nine years old and it blew me away. It was the first thing that cemented just how different from my family I was.

What is one food that you refuse to try? Why?

Chitlins.

Anything you have to squeeze crap out out of ain't going in my mouth.

Period.

Pork intestines are the least of my concerns...

I've watched my grandmother making these and I got sick to my stomach. She chased me around the kitchen with that mess.

I'm getting sickened now. Gotta go!

What was the last wedding you went to? Were you in the wedding?

I went to my college buddy, Bedpost's* wedding. It was Memorial Day weekend of '03. I was a bridesmaid. The empire waist dress was a beautiful sage green.

Bedpost married a really cool dude. Her initials are now MTV, how cool is that?

They cut the cake with a Japanese sword.

Unfortunately, my dress ripped when I stepped on it :( Thank goodness, it was only a tiny rip at the hem.

Everyone complained about either their hair, makeup, or dress. I didn't really complain too much (mainly about the weather- it was so freaking HOT). I was just happy to be there to share in her joy.

Bedpost is a great gal! She's good people.


She gave me oodles of inspiration for my wedding. I can't really do too much planning until I convert but I know what I want to do if I have a winter or spring wedding. I have no idea what I want to do for a summer or fall wedding yet. I figure that if I have an idea and/or theme in mind, I would be able to budget accordingly. I'm not going over $15K.


Glossary:

*Bedpost- a nickname I came up with in college. It's not related to sex! She was making fun of me and she hit her head against the headboard in her dorm room. So I told her that she was as dumb as a bedpost; that's your name from now on...and it stuck!